Hannibal Lector as a kid.
Second
I am hitting again a patch of ‘who the hell am I?’ I’ve been a bit isolated, turned inward with focusing on what I lack and still waiting for it to come from OUTSIDE.
I have never really gotten to a peaceful place where I am not judging/analyzing/convicting/second-guessing myself.
I have a lovely friend who converted to Catholicism when he married his second wife. There is a long and involved story behind that word, ‘second,’ there. Since it is not my tale to tell, I won’t. But I continue to be amazed by his certainty. He is a most convincing apologist for Catholicism and I find myself wishing I could join him there. When I show the slightest willingness to listen, he explains The Divine to me, in ways that make me want to open myself to It. Just yesterday, in helping me deal with some anxiety around beginning to date again, not so much dating as thinking about dating, he described to me the awesome terror of meeting God. Even thinking about it now gives me shivers, as well as a deep longing.
I was reminded of a snippet of Rilke’s poetry: “Every angel is terrifying.” And of an acquaintance’s near death experience. He reported being prostate, face down, feeling terrified and unworthy, hearing the words, “Have you loved?” and knowing that he hadn’t, not enough.
I spend a lot of energy being flippant, trying to amuse, looking to find favor with those around me. I wish I could allow myself to reach for my Source.
effing shakespeare
one of my 317 pet peeves is the modern dictionarification of reference material. don’t get me wrong, traditional dictionaries still put the lead in my 7.5 inch-long lead pencil, BUT if a dictionary doesn’t give definitions, it is not actually a dictionary—even if its contents are indexed alphabetically. the shakespeare insults dictionary is an example of this latter, looser type of dictionary. regardless, i made a pledge to you long ago to find interesting f-words from dictionaries and i intend on delivering EVEN if it goes against my irrational biases.
here are a few choice insults that begin with f collected from shakespeare’s oeuvre. you can use them on your enemies in real life OR, as shakespeare probably intended—in online flame wars:
- false caterpillars
- famished beggar
- fancy-monger
- fat and greasy citizen
- fat chuff
- fatal screech-owl
- fat-kidneyed rascal
- fell-lurking cur
- filthy worsted-stocking knave
- fishmonger
- flax-wench
- flinty tartar
- foolish carrion
- foul indigested lump
- frantic fool
- freckled whelp hag-born
- frosty-spirited rogue
- fustilarian
- fusty plebeian
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picture source
Because I need some more F-bombs
That moment when someone jokes about something you’re actually self conscious about.
Just need more of his face on my blog.
Even when reading is impossible, the presence of books acquired produces such an ecstasy that the buying of more books than one can read is nothing less than the soul reaching towards infinity……we cherish books even if unread, their mere presence exudes comfort, their ready access reassurance.
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| — |
A. E. Newton (via bookoasis) Oh, my life now makes sense to me! |
The faster we live, the less emotion is left in the world. The slower we live, the deeper we feel the world around us.
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| — | Stanko Abadžic (via hit-or-miss) |
